Image courtesy of Liliana Perez (Mexico)

What To Think About Instead

By Kate Dempsey (U.K./ Ireland) Featured in Issue 22.

I pinch the skin between finger and thumb

watch light fall through coloured glass

stare at the woman’s hair in front

try to remember ode to a louse

scratch, probe the gaps between my teeth

kneel, stand, think about an old advert for stout

about dinner, the contents of the fridge,

wink at a solemn girl across the aisle

sit, make sure again my phone’s on mute

check my watch, swallow

fill my head with banana songs

choreograph a new dance

kneel again, press my knuckles to my temples

circle my shoulders, study a pattern in the wood

consider the height of the heels in front

sit, wink at the little girl again, pinch myself

don’t think about John, about Anzy, a small white coffin

think about TV, chocolate, peach trees

about rainbows, haircuts, work

don’t think about Grandma, the last time I saw her

about family, my one, this one

don’t think about me, you, about future, past

about going first or leaving last

about priests, about songs, about ashes and dust

consider sunshine, bananas, dreams

the slow settling of Guinness

that line between sour and cream.